fiftyshades· 调教·2章4（张4颗智齿意味着什么）

José and l are good friends, but I know deep down inside, he'd like to be more.

荷西和我是好朋友，但我心裡知道他很想再進一步。

He's cute and funny, but he's just not for me.

他很可愛也很有趣，但不是我的菜。

He's more like the brother I never had.

他比較像是我從未有過的兄弟。

Katherine often teases me that I'm missing the need-a-boyfriend gene,

凱瑟琳常取笑我是否少了'需要男友'的基因，

but the truth is -- I just haven't met anyone who... well, whom I'm attracted to,

事實上是我還沒有遇到任何一個能 ……唔，吸引我的人。

even though part of me longs for those trembling knees, heart-in-my-mouth, butterflies-in-my-belly, sleepless nights.

部分的我也渴望那種雙膝抖顫、心臟跳到喉嚨口、胃裡像有蝴蝶振翅飛舞的動情時刻。

Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me.

有時我會懷疑自己是否有什麼地方不對勁，

Perhaps I've spent too long in the company of my literary romantic heroes,

可能是我花太多時間和文學名著裡那些浪漫男主角們作伴，

and consequently my ideals and expectations are far too high.

結果導致我的理想和期望都變得高不可攀，

But in reality, nobody's ever made me feel like that.

但現實生活中，真的沒有人給過我那種感覺

Until very recently, the unwelcome, still small voice of my subconscious whispers.

直到前不久，我的潛意識以不受歡迎、低沉柔和的聲音喃道。

NO! I banish the thought immediately.

不!我立刻將這個念頭逐出腦海，

I am not going there, not after that painful interview. Are you gay, Mr. Grey? I wince at the memory.

我才不要往那個方向想，尤其是在那場痛苦的訪問結束之後。你是同性戀嗎，格雷先生?回憶令我打了個寒顫。

I know I've dreamt about him most nights since then, but that's just to purge the awful ex- perience from my system, surely?

我很清楚從那天開始我幾乎每天都夢到他,但那只是為了將那段糟糕的經驗從我身體內洗刷掉，不是嗎?

I watch José open the bottle of champagne.

我看著荷西打開香檳。

He's tall, and in his jeans and t- shirt he's all shoulders and muscles, tanned skin, dark hair and burning dark eyes.

他很高,身上的T恤和牛仔褲包裹著寬闊的雙肩和緊實的肌肉，他有著健美的膚色、深色的頭髮和有神的雙眼。

Yes, José's pretty hot, but I think he's finally getting the message: we're just friends.

沒錯，荷西是個帥哥。但我想他終於懂我的意思了:我們只是朋友。

The cork makes its loud pop, and José looks up and smiles.

軟木塞砰的一聲大力飛出，荷西開心地抬頭看。

…………

Saturday at the store is a nightmare. We are besieged by do-it-yourselfers wanting to spruce up their homes.

星期六的五金行宛如一場惡夢，我們被那些愛好自己動手裝飾房子的人們團團包圍。

Mr.and Mrs.Clayton, John and Patrick - the two other part-timers - and I are all rushed off our feet.

雷頓夫婦、另外兩位工讀生約翰和派屈克，還有我，全都忙得不可開交。

But there's a lull around lunchtime,

午餐時間有個空檔，

and Mrs. Clayton asks me to check on some orders while I'm sitting behind the counter at the till discreetly eating my bagel.

我坐在櫃台後面小心地倚著收銀機吃貝果麺包，克雷頓太太前來要我幫她查幾筆訂單。

I'm engrossed in the task, checking catalogue numbers against the items we need and the items we've ordered,

我埋首在工作中，對照著產品型錄上的貨號，一筆筆檢查我們缺的貨及該下的訂單，

eyes flicking from the order book to the computer screen and back as I check the entries match.

眼睛在訂貨紀錄和電腦螢幕間轉來轉去。檢查输入的内容是否正確。

Then, for some reason, I glance up... and find myself locked in the bold gray gaze of Christian Grey who's standing at the counter,staring at me intently.

但不知什麼原故我忽然抬起頭來，而後發現自己被一對銀灰眼眸牢牢鎖住。克里斯欽·格雷正站在櫃台前打量我。

Heart failure.

我的心跳幾乎停止。

"Miss Steele. What a pleasant surprise." His gaze is unwavering and intense.

“史迪爾小姐，真是令人開心的驚喜。”他直視著我，目光炯炯。

Holy crap.

真要命!

What the hell is he doing here looking all tousled-hair and outdoorsy in his cream chunky-knit sweater, jeans, and walking boots?

他的頭髮微亂，穿著米色粗針織毛衣搭配牛仔褲和登山靴，一身戶外休閒打扮，但他到底來這裡做什麼?

I think my mouth has popped open, and I can't locate my brain or my voice.

我現在應該是目瞪口呆的傻樣，找不到自己的聲音或腦袋。

"Mr. Grey," I whisper, because that's all I can manage.

“格雷先生。”我低聲喚，但只說得出這一句。

There's a ghost of a smile on his lips and his eyes are alight with humor, as if he's enjoying some private joke.

他唇邊的笑意一閃即過，眼裡閃著促狹的光芒，好像他正為了某個秘密笑話感到開心。

"I was in the area," he says by way of explanation. "I need to stock up on a few things.

“我剛好在附近，”他解釋。“我要來添購一些庫存。

It's a pleasure to see you again, Miss Steele."

很高興再次見到妳，史迪爾小姐。”

His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel... or something.

他的聲音溫暖沙啞，像是融化了的巧克力奶油軟糖……之類的。

I shake my head to gather my wits. My heart is pounding a frantic tattoo,

我甩甩頭想集中心神，心臟正瘋狂地怦怦作響，

and for some reason I'm blushing furiously under his steady scrutiny.

在他熱切的凝視之下，我的雙頰因為某種不知名的原因變得熱燙。

I am utterly thrown by the sight of him standing before me.

看到他站在面前讓我全然不知所措，

My memories of him did not do him justice.

我的記憶對他不太公平，

He's not merely good-looking - he's the epitome of male beauty, breathtaking,

他不只是長得好看，他是至天下美男子的精華，足以奪人心魄，

and he’s here. Here in Clayton's Hardware Store. Go figure.

而且近在咫尺，就在這克雷頓五金行裡。

Finally my cognitive functions are restored and reconnected with the rest of my body.

我的認知能力終於重新恢復功能，和我的四肢百骸重新連結在一起。

"Ana. My name's Ana," I mutter. "What can I help you with, Mr.Grey?"

“安娜，我的名字是安娜，”我低語，“有什麼我可以幫忙的，格雷先生?”

He smiles, and again it's like he's privy to some big secret.

他笑起來，再次一副天大秘密只有他知道的樣子。

It is so disconcerting. Taking a deep breath, I put on my professional I've-worked-in-this-shop-for-years facade. I can do this.

這讓人極度心煩意亂。我深吸一口氣，擺出'我可是本店資深員工'的專業架勢。我辦得到的!

"There are a few items I need. To start with, I'd like some cable ties," he murmurs, his gray eyes cool but amused.

“我需要一些東西。首先，我想要一些綁電纜用的塑膠束線帶。”他低聲說，銀灰眼眸冷靜但興味十足。

Cable ties? 束線帶?

"We stock various lengths. Shall I show you?" I mutter, my voice soft and wavery.

“我們有各種不同長度的束線帶，要拿給你看嗎?”我的聲音聽起來軟弱無力。

Get a grip, Steele.

振作一點，史迪爾。

A slight frown mars Grey's rather lovely brow."Please. Lead the way, Miss Steele," he says.

格雷迷人的雙眉輕蹙。"麻煩妳了，請帶路,史迪爾小姐"他說。

I try for nonchalance as I come out from behind the counter,

我從櫃台後面走出來，試著表現得若無其事，

but really I'm concentrating hard on not falling over my own feet - my legs are suddenly the consistency of Jell-0. I'm so glad I decided to wear my best jeans this morning.

但實際上我滿腦子都只想著千萬不要再被自己的脚样倒——我的雙腿忽然軟得像果凍，還好我今早決定穿最好的那條牛仔褲。

"They're in with the electrical goods, aisle eight." My voice is a little too bright.

“束線帶在電子材料那一區，第八條走道。”我的語氣有點太過輕快。

I glance up at him and regret it almost immediately.Damn, he's handsome.I blush.

我抬頭看他，但我立刻就後悔做這個舉動。該死，他真俊美"

"After you," he murmurs, gesturing with his long-fingered, beautifully mani- cured hand.

“妳先請。”他輕聲說。用他那修剪得宜、十指優美纖長的手做個手勢。

With my heart almost strangling me - because it's in my throat try- ing to escape from my mouth - I head down one of the aisles to the electrical section. Why is he in Portland?

我的心臟已經跳到喉嚨口。幾乎要把我噎死。我領頭走向電子零件區，心想:他來波特蘭做什麼?

Why is he here at Clayton's?

又為什麼來克雷頓?

And from a very tiny, underusedpart of my brain - probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata where my subcon- scious dwells - comes the thought:

我腦中有個很少用到的微小區域差不多在延髓底端、我的潛意識所在之處，冒出一個想法:

he's here to see you.

他是來見妳的。

No way! I dismiss it immediately.

不可能!我立刻抹去這個想法。

Why would this beautiful, powerful, urbane man want to see me?

這樣一位長相俊美、有錢有勢、斯文氣派的男人想要見我?

The idea is preposterous, and I kick it out of my head.

這念頭太過荒謬，我將它踢出腦海。

"Are you in Portland on business?" I ask, and my voice is too high,

“你來波特蘭出差嗎?”我問，聲音高了八度，

like I've got my finger trapped in a door or something.Damn! Try to be cool Ana!

好像我的手指被門或其他什麼夾到。真是的! 冷靜下来'安娜!

"I was visiting the WSU farming division. It's based at Vancouver. I'm currently funding some research there in crop rotation and soil science," he says mat- ter-of-factly.

“我去拜訪溫哥華巿的華盛頓州大農學院，最近我贊助了一些關於谷物輪作和土壤科學的研究項目。”他以陳述事實的態度說。

See?Not here to find you at all, my subconscious sneers at me, loud, proud, and pouty.

看吧，人家根本不是來這裡找妳的，我的潛意識幸災樂禍地嘲笑，刺耳又讓人生氣。

I flush at my foolish wayward thoughts.

愚蠢的自作多情讓我臉上一陣紅一陣白。

"All part of your feed-the-world plan?" I tease.

“這也包含在你餵飽全世界的計劃中嗎?”我故意激他。

"Something like that," he acknowledges, and his lips quirk up in a half smile.

“算是。”他聽懂了，嘴角因為淺笑而彎起。

He gazes at the selection of cable ties we stock at Clayton's.

他打量著克雷頓店裡的各種束線帶，

What on Earth is he going to do with those?

他究竟要拿這些做什麼?

I cannot picture him as a do-it-yourselfer at all.

我無法想像他也是喜好自己動手做的那種人。

His fingers trail across the various packages displayed, and for some inexplicable reason, I have to look away.

他的手指撫過架上陳列的各種包裝，基於某種難以說明的原因，我避開視線。

He bends and selects a packet.

他彎腰挑了一盒。

"These will do," he says with his oh-so-secret smile, and I blush."Is there anything else?"

“這個就可以”他說·臉上又是那種神秘兮兮的微笑。

"I'd like some masking tape."

“我還想要些紙膠帶·”

Masking tape?

紙膠帶

"Are you redecorating?" The words are out before I can stop them.Surely he hires laborers or has staff to help him decorate?

“你家裡在裝修嗎?”我還來不及阻止自己，話就脫口而出。他當然會請工人或是找部屬來幫他。

"No, not redecorating," he says quickly then smirks, and I have the uncanny feeling that he's laughing at me.

“不，不是在裝修。”他很快回答並扯了扯嘴角。我有種背脊發毛的感覺,他是在笑我。

Am I that funny? Funny looking?

我这么可笑吗？还是长的可笑？

"This way, " I murmur embarrassed. “Masking tape is in the decorating aisle." I glance behind me as he follows.

“这边請。”我難為情地低聲說“紙膠帶在裝潢材料區。”我往後看，他跟在我身後。

"Have you worked here long?" His voice is low, and he's gazing at me, gray eyes concentrating hard.

“妳在這裡工作很久了嗎?”他的聲音低沉，銀灰眼眸專注地盯著我。

I blush even more brightly. Why the hell does he have this effect on me?

我的臉應該紅到發紫了，到底為什麼他會對我造成這種效果?

I feel like I'm fourteen years old -- gauche, as always, and out of place. Eyes front ,Steele!

我感覺自己像是回到十四歲，一如往常的不善交際且手足無措。眼睛看前面，史迪爾!

"Four years," I mutter as we reach our goal.

“四年了”我低聲回答，抵達我們的目的地。

To distract myself, I reach down and select the two widths of masking tape that we stock.

為了讓自己分心，我彎下腰在放置紙膠帶的兩排貨架中尋找。

"I'll take that one," Grey says softly pointing to the wider tape, which I pass to him.

“我要那一個。”格雷指著較宽的膠帶輕聲說。我遞給他，

Our fingers brush very briefly, and the current is there again, zapping through me like I've touched an exposed wire.

手指短暫的輕觸，那股電流又再次竄過我全身，就像摸到裸露的電線一樣。

I gasp involuntarily as I feel it, all the way down to somewhere dark and unexplored, deep in my belly.

我無法克制地倒吸一口氣，感覺那股電流一路衝向我的五臟六腑，直達某個幽暗深沉、無人知曉的地方，

Desperately, I scrabble around for my equilibrium.

我近乎绝望地想找回一點自制。

"Anything else?" My voice is husky and breathy.

“还需要其他東西嗎?”我的聲音粗啞不穩。

His eyes widen slightly."Some rope, I think." His voice mirrors mine, husky.

他的眼睛微微睁大，“一些绳子吧，我想。”他的聲音變得和我一樣粗啞。

"This way. " I duck my head down to hide my recurring blush and head for the aisle.

“这边请”我低下頭藏住再次發紅的雙颊，帶頭走向商品區。

"What sort were you after? We have synthetic and natural filament rope... twine... cable cord... " I halt at his expression, his eyes darkening.Holy cow.

“要找哪個種類的?我們有合成纖維、天然纖維、雙股麻線、電糟線……”他的表情讓我停止介绍,眸色也變深了，真要命，

"I'll take five yards of the natural filament rope please."

“我要五碼天然纖稚繩，麻煩妳。”

Quickly, with trembling fingers, I measure out five yards against the fixed ruler, aware that his hot gray gaze is on me.

雖然手指微顫，但我很快地用固定量尺量好五碼，同時意識到他的銀灰眼眸正熱切地盯著我。

I dare not look at him. Jeez, could I feel any more self-conscious?

我不敢看他，啧，我還能再自作多情一點嗎?

Taking my Stanley knife from the back pocket of my jeans, I cut it then coil it neatly before tying it in a slipknot.

我從牛仔褲後口袋拿出美工刀將繩子割斷，整齊地捲起後打了一個活结。

By some miracle, I manage not to remove a finger with my knife.

可能是某種奇蹟吧，我竟然沒讓手上的刀割傷自己的手指。

"Were you a Girl Scout?" he asks, sculptured, sensual lips curled in amuse- ment.

“妳以前是女童軍嗎?”他問，雕刻般優美的性感雙唇愉悅地揚起。

Don't look at his mouth!

不要看他的嘴!

"Organized, group activities aren't really my thing, Mr. Grey."

“我對有组织的團體活動不太感興趣，格雷先生。”

He arches a brow.

他挑起一道眉

"What is your thing, Anastasia?" he asks, his voice soft and his secret smile is back.

“那什麽才讓妳或興趣，安娜塔希婭?”他溫柔地問，神秘的微笑又出現了。

I gaze at him unable to express myself. I'm on shifting tectonic plates.

我盯著他看，說不出話來，我像是站在不停移動的地殼板塊上。

Try and be cool, Ana,

冷靜下來，安娜，

my tortured subconscious begs on bended knee.

我那飽受折磨的潛意識正在跪地求饒。

"Books," I whisper, but inside, my subconscious is screaming:

“書吧，”我輕聲回答，但内心的潛意識正在尖叫:

You! You are my thing

你!我對你感興趣!

I slap it down instantly, mortified that my psyche is having ideas above its station.

我立刻壓下這個念頭，懊惱自己的心為什麼意見這麼多。